We'd had a few drinks after work one Friday when a small group of American tourists came in. There were three girls and a guy, we soon got talking to them.
One of the girls was cornered at the bar by our very own GC, he was onto a loser because of the enormous coldsore he was growing. Her friend, sitting with me, was getting a bit worried that the drunken GC might try something so she asked me:
"What's you friend like? Is he OK?"
Me: "Oh, he's alright. If you don't mind his herpes and children."
She got up and rescued her friend PDQ.
Addendum: GC has asked me to point out that this event took place a few years ago and he's not like that anymore. Precious.
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