Clever

MSJ: "Hello, I'm working from home today and can't get into the system as my password's expired."

PC: "You need to reset your password and it needs to be made up of 8 characters."

MSJ: "OK, how about MENSA?"

PC: pause "Well that's only 5 characters."

MSJ: "Well, how about MENSA07?"

PC: pause "That's 7."

MSJ: "Oh."

Gulp

Talking about his package.
AN: "As long as PC swallows that, it'll be fine."

An MSI package, I hasten to add.

It's what you do with it...

HA: "PC can you have a look at this for me?"

PC: "Looks to me like you have a size problem."

PC: "ha ha ha ha!"

Any Excuse

PC: "My granddaughter is coming on holiday with us this year, she gets up so early, I don't know how I'll cope."

AH: "You'll have to get in some early nights."

PC: "Mmm, I know - that's what I said to Barry."

Aww, nuts

After JL describes, in great detail, how he prepares roasted peanuts by
using spices and oils.
PC: "Oh JL, I can just imagine how juicy your nuts taste."
Deathly silence ensues.........

O

Said to her colleague, RC, in the office.

 

PC: "Can you keep your feet still, the floor's shaking. It feels like I'm on a vibrator."

Flex

HA: "Did you miss me?"

PC: "I really missed your muscle!"

HA: "That's what all the ladies say."

 

HA and PC are colleagues. PC has back trouble and can't lift any PCs etc.

Point of no return

One of our longer term contractors had been asked to 'kick off an image' on a developer's PC. This entails using a piece of software to take a snapshot of the PC prior to making any amendments so you have a rollback option if it all goes wrong.

When asked to 'kick off an image' our friend translated this as 're-image that PC with a standard image, thereby wiping any data and hard fought configuration that the user had been building up over several months'.

GC: "Did you kick off that build on SG's PC?"

SS: "Huh? Yeah, yeah I did."

GC: "Good. Once it's finished we can install that new bloggs inc. software. If it screws up we can rollback to your image."

SS: Now, he's just realised what he's done and gets a little nervous. "I'll be back in a minute."