Can't somebody else do it?

RC is hovering by TS's desk, anxious hand over a CD.

RC: "I'm having a lot of trouble installing this update disk. Can you help?"

TS: "OK. What kind of install is it? Does it come as an MSI or legacy setup and what kind of problems have you been having with it?"

RC: "I don't know, I haven't opened the disk yet."

Office Romance

AH: "Yeh! I got shafted by SR a couple of times."

Trannies are us

Trying to explain that he would never sleep with a man.

AN: "I would sleep with a man as long as he looked just like a woman, had breasts and a vagina."

Film Buff

GC: "Who was the baddie in Dr. No?"

AN: "Errrr….Dr No"

Adoration

AN: "In case you didn't know GC is 40 in January."
DL (guy): "Wow, he looks real good for his age."

Any Excuse

PC: "My granddaughter is coming on holiday with us this year, she gets up so early, I don't know how I'll cope."

AH: "You'll have to get in some early nights."

PC: "Mmm, I know - that's what I said to Barry."

Ensign

JHo: "I'll have to wave it in front of RG first but, I'm sure he'll say yes."

Teechair's Pet II

Latest one from AH's daugther's school reading diary:
"KH wasn't sure of her sight words but tryed really hard"

Teechair's Pet

From AH's daughter's school reading diary, written by the student teacher:
"KH read well, didn't change her book because she doesn't no all her sight words."

Howzat

HA: "I'm playing cricket next week. I field but, I prefer to bat. There is nothing more satisfying than cracking one off."

Plums, bananas or cumquats?

SA: "You may want me to but, I'm not going to lick your fruit."

Fancy a change?

CO'G: "SA? Is that a man or woman?"

Aww, nuts

After JL describes, in great detail, how he prepares roasted peanuts by
using spices and oils.
PC: "Oh JL, I can just imagine how juicy your nuts taste."
Deathly silence ensues.........

Chariots

AH: "So, did you beat DL at squash?"
GC: "No, but I got him in the arse a couple of times."

O

Said to her colleague, RC, in the office.

 

PC: "Can you keep your feet still, the floor's shaking. It feels like I'm on a vibrator."

Snooze

RC: "Isn't it great having no Team Leaders here? You can actually get something done for a change."

Pause

RC: "SH, if I give you a tenner, can I have a 3 hour lunch?"

Horror-scope

TC reads a lot of trashy papers and magazines, like Hello, OK and The Sun.

 

TC: "Well the pills don't agree with me, I'm getting pins and needles in my arms. I've printed out the list of possible side effects and I'm going to see the occupational nurse."

 

SW: "The occupational nurse? Aren't you better off reading your star sign in the Sun to find out what's wrong?"

 

Mmmmm cakes

Contractor: "JH, I brought in some cakes for everyone this morning"

 

JH: "Oh, that's nice, I didn't know they were there."

 

RC overheard this: "Oh, er, yes, I've been so busy I er, forgot to, um, send the email round"

 

JH to contractor: "You want to watch this one, he'll eat them all if you're not careful."

 

RC is about 320lb.

Ooops

Upon seeing a five year old kid in a pushchair who was easily old enough to walk.

 

AN: "I sure hope that kid is disabled."  

Can you fix everything?

Customer: "Ah, hello Computer Helpdesk?"

 

GC: "Yes. How can I help you?"

 

Customer: "The lifts on the far end of the building aren't working. Can you send someone out to fix them?"