tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-119419342024-03-07T07:22:51.100+00:00...and then I woke up in hospitalThe world is full of people who speak without engaging their brains.
<br>The rest of us are just playing dumb.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-28120220982304612482007-09-20T13:21:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:22:52.937+01:00Keep digging<em>Trying to reassure NJ.</em><br /><br />CN: "No seriously, that dress is lovely."<br /><br /><em>pause</em><br /><br />CN: "It shows off all your bits."<br /><br /><em>pause</em><br /><br />CN: "It's clinging on for dear life."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-1001418079296557512007-09-20T12:41:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:42:14.528+01:00Must run in the familyGC: "I saw my brother's and it's quite small."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-44986163665909156322007-09-19T13:15:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:16:12.896+01:00CoverageMG: "What kind of satellite coverage do they get in Kilifi?"<br />PS: "I think you'll find satellite coverage is worldwide."<br />MB: "Yeah, they can get Sky."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-40699307971925819832007-09-18T13:14:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:15:03.309+01:00RecruitmentAn agency contacts GC about a possible contractor and describes the guys best quality as:<br /><br />"Geeky on the inside, smooth on the outside."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-30273219667313665862007-09-10T13:10:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:13:46.317+01:00Rating<em>TS visits an analyst, DL, who is working with two monitors, remote controlling a customers PC.</em><br /><br /><em>A desktop picture is of three girls in a restaurant.</em><br /><br />TS: <em>pointing to each girl in turn</em> "Would, Would, Wouldn't!"<br /><br />DL: "Err, do you mind, that girl just happens to be my girlfriend!"<br /><br /><em>The penny drops as TS realises he's looking at the local PC's desktop.</em>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-31739779987543252522007-09-06T13:19:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:20:32.318+01:00Marching on<em>Talking about NJ's preference for men with deep tans.</em><br /><br />AN: "If you like orange men, you should go to Belfast on 12th July."<br />NJ: "Why?"<br />AN: "For the march of the Orange-men."<br />NJ: "Is that a gay parade?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-67330412994430080172007-08-16T13:34:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:37:07.940+01:00CompetingGC: "The sys dev team went running last week, they are getting fitter."<br /><br />JH: "So you're going running today to keep up?"<br /><br />GC: "Yes, need to keep fit. I'm worried if it came to a fight who would win, SysDev against CS."<br /><br />JH: "Yep, we'd have a battle."<br /><br />GC: "CS against Ops?"<br /><br />JH: "Well, I know the outcome of that one - we would...<strong>lick...their...arses</strong>."<br /><br />GC: <em>shocked pause</em><br /><br />JH: "...well, not literally."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-13746216974219903502007-08-10T13:08:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:09:19.427+01:00References<em>CN details her previous work experience.</em><br /><br />GH: "Why did you extend your contract?"<br /><br />CN: "Well it keeps me off the streets."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-1178073862247790242007-08-10T13:06:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:07:51.095+01:00Anti-thesis<em>Whilst listening to loud music outside the British Library.</em><br /><br />GC: "They won't appreciate that in the library while they're trying to write their thesaurus…"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-29203416241409329622007-08-09T13:05:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:06:02.447+01:00MessyGC: "Hi, how are you? You seem to have a stain on your shirt."<br />PMcL: "That was from my plums... it's plum juice."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-56127552735915407182007-07-25T13:02:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:03:00.095+01:00BraggingTS: "Who do you think has a big custom dic?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-48246759800169148202007-07-03T12:52:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:53:08.591+01:00Warming up<em>Said to GC.</em><br /><br />JH: "Once you've had your oats, I'll be ready for you."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-65012869101650578382007-06-21T12:51:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:52:06.633+01:00Hands offTC: "Don't go down my drawers without asking me."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-47116204317211173352007-06-20T12:50:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:51:18.747+01:00Carry onLE: "Mmmm, what I really want is stuffing!"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-80396775546407449652007-06-20T12:48:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:50:23.468+01:00Comedy<em>At the comedy store during an improv session.</em><br /><br />Phil Jupitus: "Name me a country."<br /> <br />Audience: "Montenegro."<br /> <br />Phil Jupitus: "OK, and something that the Montenegrons do?"<br /> <br />HA: "Have to deal with Serbians."<br /> <br />Audience: <em>Sharp intake of breath.</em><br /> <br />Phil Jupitus: <em>Adjusts collar</em> "Tough crowd,...another suggestion?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-5580152636800250812007-06-14T13:00:00.000+01:002007-09-20T13:02:18.671+01:00Smokin'NR: "AH, you got a hot little arse!"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-50367853006437205932007-06-14T12:46:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:47:55.365+01:00Subtle<em>Said to AH in a pub.</em><br /><em>TSi had just sat next to her and started rubbing her back.</em><br /><br />TSi: "I just wanna get laid by the end of the week. I don't care who it is, married or not."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-41187001907317825772007-05-29T12:44:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:44:49.858+01:00Face to faceAH: "P, why don't you join Facebook so we can all chat online?"<br /><br />PH: "I don't think my wife would be happy after what happened last time I did something like that. Three days of pleasure, three years of pain."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-87991092230667415872007-05-24T12:42:00.000+01:002007-09-20T12:43:56.230+01:00Default settingsAH: "Sorry, M, haven't had chance to reply to your email."<br />MSJ: "Don't worry, I can't remember what I asked you now, my brain resets itself every 10 days."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-63061180911636367892007-05-16T14:05:00.000+01:002007-09-19T14:07:34.717+01:00Topper returnsEO: "My osteopath said to me:<br />'E, you've not got the biggest back muscles I've ever seen. I had a trapeze artist in here once who was slightly bigger than you. But you're big.' "Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-81825353805983588362007-03-27T14:04:00.000+01:002007-09-19T14:20:27.236+01:00Annoying contractor returnsAH: "Morning G, welcome back."<br />GG: <em>winking</em> "A! Looking gooooood, have you lost weight?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-45216548335276420142007-03-27T14:01:00.000+01:002007-09-19T14:02:30.763+01:00PeacockCN: "I like the way TS struts."<br /><br /><em>..and she's single now. Better watch out TS.</em>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-60661772907468621862007-03-23T14:00:00.000+00:002007-09-19T14:00:56.328+01:00John's your uncleGC: "You're all dressed in grey today. You look just like Bob Major."<br /><br />TS: "Who? Who's Bob Major."<br /><br />GC: "errrr……………..got to go……very busy."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-61020930569575096612007-03-21T13:58:00.000+00:002007-09-19T13:59:47.133+01:00Dumb and dumberWhilst filling out an induction form for the 183 building, AN decides to copy the information from another person's form.<br /><br />2 minutes later he realises that at the line where he should write his name he has written the other person's name (TS).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11941934.post-23438699762294955392007-03-20T13:57:00.000+00:002007-09-19T13:58:16.843+01:00Freak weatherSA: "You had snow?"<br />SH: "Yeah."<br />SA: "What, on the ground?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0