Hands off

TC: "Don't go down my drawers without asking me."

Carry on

LE: "Mmmm, what I really want is stuffing!"

Comedy

At the comedy store during an improv session.

Phil Jupitus: "Name me a country."

Audience: "Montenegro."

Phil Jupitus: "OK, and something that the Montenegrons do?"

HA: "Have to deal with Serbians."

Audience: Sharp intake of breath.

Phil Jupitus: Adjusts collar "Tough crowd,...another suggestion?"

Smokin'

NR: "AH, you got a hot little arse!"

Subtle

Said to AH in a pub.
TSi had just sat next to her and started rubbing her back.

TSi: "I just wanna get laid by the end of the week. I don't care who it is, married or not."