O

Said to her colleague, RC, in the office.

 

PC: "Can you keep your feet still, the floor's shaking. It feels like I'm on a vibrator."

Snooze

RC: "Isn't it great having no Team Leaders here? You can actually get something done for a change."

Pause

RC: "SH, if I give you a tenner, can I have a 3 hour lunch?"

Horror-scope

TC reads a lot of trashy papers and magazines, like Hello, OK and The Sun.

 

TC: "Well the pills don't agree with me, I'm getting pins and needles in my arms. I've printed out the list of possible side effects and I'm going to see the occupational nurse."

 

SW: "The occupational nurse? Aren't you better off reading your star sign in the Sun to find out what's wrong?"

 

Mmmmm cakes

Contractor: "JH, I brought in some cakes for everyone this morning"

 

JH: "Oh, that's nice, I didn't know they were there."

 

RC overheard this: "Oh, er, yes, I've been so busy I er, forgot to, um, send the email round"

 

JH to contractor: "You want to watch this one, he'll eat them all if you're not careful."

 

RC is about 320lb.

Ooops

Upon seeing a five year old kid in a pushchair who was easily old enough to walk.

 

AN: "I sure hope that kid is disabled."  

Can you fix everything?

Customer: "Ah, hello Computer Helpdesk?"

 

GC: "Yes. How can I help you?"

 

Customer: "The lifts on the far end of the building aren't working. Can you send someone out to fix them?"

Flex

HA: "Did you miss me?"

PC: "I really missed your muscle!"

HA: "That's what all the ladies say."

 

HA and PC are colleagues. PC has back trouble and can't lift any PCs etc.