You have mail

Postroom: "Hello, we've got a large package for you."

AH: "OK, I'll come and get it. Whereabouts are you?"

Postroom: "The Postroom's in the other building, at the back of the building near Security."

AH: "Is it really big?"

Postroom: "The Postroom?"

AH: "Er, no...I meant the package."

No e-mail

JW:"Hello, helpdesk? When I was in Tanzania last week my Blackberry wouldn't work. I couldn't get to any e-mails."

Helpdesk:"The Blackberry devices rely on GPRS signals to send and receive e-mails. These only really work in the more built up areas of developed countries. Tanzania probably doesn't have a network that can support this for you. Infact even in the more rural areas of the UK it wouldn't work."

JW:"Well that's no good to me. I want a 3G 'phone instead."

Tumbleweed

HR was running a series of presentations about 'Equal Opportunities' and how it relates to our working lives. There are about 60 people from all over the organisation at one of the briefings when we are asked to contribute our thoughts.

FE: To the whole room "Where my mate works there's this guy that says things to his colleagues like 'I slept with you Mum last night'."